


Smoky Skies

by patrick_ (camille0078)



Category: SKAM (Norway)
Genre: Alcohol, Crying, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Happy Ending, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, New Year's Eve, New Year's Fluff, Recreational Drug Use, Romance, Smoking, Swearing, seperated parents
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-02
Updated: 2019-01-02
Packaged: 2019-10-02 13:33:35
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,931
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17265110
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/camille0078/pseuds/patrick_
Summary: Vilde is holding another party at Isak's apartment for the New Year. The only problem is that he doesn't want to be there.In which Isak's parents split around the holidays and he is left with conflicting thoughts.





	Smoky Skies

“Yo, Isak!” Jonas hollered across the crowded room. Another one of Vilde’s blowout parties was in the making, although this time, it was for the New Year. She had been planning this since Thanksgiving as far as Isak could remember, and she insisted on hosting it in the apartment he shared with Eskild and Lynn. At the time, everything was alright, and Isak didn’t have a problem with a massive party being held at the apartment. In fact, he had been anticipating it ever since he agreed to it.

But now, he was sitting on the couch by himself while everyone else was hollering around him, jumping around the television like apes. There was a good amount of time left until the New Year came, but Isak didn’t feel like partying or talking to anyone. In all honesty, if this wasn’t the same place where he slept, he would have already left. He just wanted to be alone. However, none of his friends were having that, and if Even caught a _whiff_ of Isak’s demeanor, it would only make matters worse.

“Isak! Are you just going to sit there the whole night?” Jonas asked, taking several steps closer to him and holding out an inviting hand. “Come join us in the bathroom. We got the bong out and everything. If you don’t want to be alone, we can bring Even, too.”

Isak’s eyes shifted to Even, who was amongst those crowded around the television, talking while the drinks continued to flow. Constantly, he had come over to check on Isak, but every time, Isak continued to push him away, saying that he was fine and that he should enjoy himself. Now that Jonas was after him too, he wondered how long he could just sit here and pretend that he was enjoying the night.

But still, he shook his head and forced a smile. “No thanks. I have a headache and I’m just trying to enjoy the show.” The headache was a lie, but he was keeping himself occupied with the New Year’s countdown segment that the news station was doing. There was a timer on the bottom of the screen. 28 minutes and 41 seconds until the New Year…was this how he really wanted to spend his last moments of 2018?

The raven-haired boy didn’t appear convinced but shrugged anyway. “Suit yourself, but if you’re really looking forward to having some fun, don’t hesitate to come into the bathroom. We’ll be out when the last five minutes come on.” He gave Isak one last look before heading back, closing the door behind himself.

Isak wasn’t really one to make a big deal out of things, and thankfully, neither was Jonas. Maybe he would’ve been in the mood to do things if it weren’t for what his dad did. It was a crappy move of him, especially during the holiday season. Isak felt like he had gotten over it, but there were still moments when just thinking about it brought him to tears.

He had a lot of time to reflect on it. Too much time. Made him wonder whether this could’ve been prevented, if he could’ve done something more to stop him from leaving. Made him wonder if it was his fault, and what could’ve been different.

No one knew about this yet. He couldn’t find the courage to confide in Even about it, and it was tough to tell Jonas, too. It had been a little while, too – who in their right mind would decide to leave their family right before _Christmas_?

His eyes pricked with tears and he got up suddenly, thinking about getting a drink and enjoying the last few minutes of the new year in ignorant bliss, not wanting to think about something like that. He knew that even though drinking now to forget would make him feel better now, but was it better to feel better in the last few minutes of the old year or be depressed in the first day of the new year?

Swallowing thickly, he stepped outside before anyone could notice that anything was wrong. Fireworks burst left and right, some of them louder than others. Smoke filled his lungs and he reveled in it, the smell bringing some faint memories back into his head. This was nothing compared to what was coming in…how much time was left? He pulled out his phone and bit his lip – only around 10 minutes.

He remembered years past that he would spend New Years with his parents and his sister, sitting outside and counting down the seconds from an app on their phone. Some years, they would watch the fireworks in amazement, and when he and his sister grew older, they would light their own. The fact that their parents had gone so far just to let them experience lighting them for themselves was an incredible thing, and now it was something that Isak missed more than ever.

On the inside, he pitied himself for now coming to a party for the New Year instead of spending it with his mom, who probably needed him more than ever. Outside, there was a crowd of people who were getting ready to light some fireworks, and whether it was legal or not didn’t matter to Isak. He wasn’t going to partake in it now, but he didn’t mind watching. Whatever it took to get his mind off of it.

“Whoa, Isak! Where have you been all night?” Someone called out drunkenly from behind him. Isak grimaced as he turned to see who it was and was slightly surprised to see that it was Eskild. Isak half expected him to be the life of the party with Lynn, like he always was. It was his apartment, anyway.

Scratching the back of his neck, Isak forced himself to make some eye contact with the ginger. “I’ve been inside the whole time. I should be asking where you’ve been.” Isak was somewhat hurt that even Eskild didn’t even notice his presence. Did he blend in that much?

“Shouldn’t you be, oh I don’t know…hanging out with Even? He should be spending his last moments of the year with the one person he loves the most. The same goes to you, Isak. Are you even drunk?”

Another firework popped in the air and Isak shook his head, watching as colored sparks fell from the sky. “No. I just needed to get some air. It was getting too crazy in there.”

“If you say so.” He pulled out his phone, beaming at it. “Come on, it’s almost time! At least come inside for the last few minutes of the year. Celebrate with him. He deserves it and so do you. Why don’t you want to spend time with him, anyway?”

“It’s not that I don’t want to spend time with him, I’m just…I have a headache.”

“Bullshit. Come inside.” He grabbed Isak’s arm and dragged him to the door, pointing to the inside. “Do you see him? He’s been talking about you the whole night and the fact that you’re avoiding him must hurt. Did something happen between you guys? Are you mad at him? Tell me all _about_ it, Isak!”

“Seriously, Eskild. It’s not that deep,” Isak muttered, staring at Even. He really didn’t want to spend time with him, but he knew that once they started talking, it wouldn’t be that hard for him to see that something was wrong, and Isak wasn’t ready to tell him anything yet.

“Guys, the countdown is starting!” Someone shouted, and immediately, a horde of people crowded around the television screen with their drinks raised and goofy smiles slapped across their faces. Some people were already kissing and the countdown had hardly started.

Collectively, they all began their descent from 60 to 0. “60, 59, 58…!”

Isak saw Jonas and his friends walk out from the bathroom together, high as fuck. He was glad that he didn’t join them, he most definitely didn’t want to be fried tonight. He wanted his mind to be clear in case something changed. In case his dad decided that he had made a mistake. How was he supposed to be aware of anything if he was too high to operate?

“51, 50, 49…!”

If he had to be honest with himself, he had been waiting for that moment the day he lost his temper with his dad and walked out, not bothering to stop and reason with him and try to understand his side of the story. He waited for a call or text from him just to say that he wanted to talk or wanted Isak to hear him out. Isak knew that he didn’t act the right way either, but Isak still felt like his dad needed to apologize.

“37, 36, 35…!”

It made Isak wonder if that would be his future. If he and Even really did get married like he constantly said they would, would he turn out just like his dad? Would he walk out on Even because he couldn’t handle his manic or depressive episodes? His dad had reached that breaking point when their relationship had reached an all-time low. He and Isak have never fought before, but what would happen if it got to that point?

His breath hitched and he wiped several tears that had already spilled. He didn’t want anyone to see him like this – if they did, he would be all they talked about for weeks. Dammit, why did Eskild have to drag him inside? If he stayed outside, he could’ve been alone and watched the fireworks without having to worry about anyone seeing him break down. Now that he was here, everyone would have a clear view of him.

He needed to be alone.

So he went to the bathroom where his friends just came from.

“30, 29, 28…!”

He sat on the counter and drew in a shaky breath. It smelled like shit in here, which only made everything worse. He shouldn’t be in here for New Year’s. Eskild was right, he should be spending it with Even. But even now, Isak didn’t want him to see him like this. It would hurt his pride, which was already low enough. He tried taking another breath, but it only ended up getting cut off by a sob that Isak wasn’t able to hold back.

“22, 21, 20…!”

Even looked behind him, looking for Isak and wondering why he wasn’t joining him for the countdown. They decided that they would come to this party together, so Even couldn’t really understand why he wasn’t spending the last seconds of the year with him.

Unless something was wrong.

Even pushed himself through the crowd of people counting loudly in his ear, his eyes darting everywhere. Maybe he was just overthinking. Maybe nothing was wrong, and Isak was just looking for him. But that would’ve made sense if he hadn’t checked on him such a short time ago. It didn’t seem like he was going _anywhere_.

A feeling of dread settled in the pit of his stomach as he didn’t see Isak anywhere inside the apartment. His room? The door was open, and he was nowhere in sight. Outside maybe?

He opened the door to the outside and only saw others getting ready to launch their fireworks, none of them being Isak. It didn’t seem like he would be sitting on a couch one minute then lighting fireworks the next.

“15, 14, 13…!”

 _Where the hell did he go?_ Even asked himself in frustration as he ran back inside, panic beginning to emerge through the fog that the alcohol had created. He knew that something was wrong from the start. Isak had been so quiet on the ride there, but Even didn’t say anything because Isak did mention that he had a headache. Now that Even thought about it, it was definitely a cover for something bigger. He had been quiet for more than a few days. He was so _stupid_ for not saying anything about it –

What about the bathroom? Jonas was there earlier with the rest of his friends, so maybe they were still in there and Isak had decided to join them? He hadn’t seen them leave anyway, so maybe he _was_ in there. He pushed through the crowd again as their chanting grew louder.

“ _10, 9, 8…!_ ”

Thankfully, the door was unlocked and Even wasted no time in throwing it open, not caring whether or not their friends were in there. However, it took him one second for him to process that Jonas and the others were in here. The only person who was left was a sobbing Isak, who had his arms wrapped tightly around himself and was leaning forward, as if crying was hurting his stomach. He didn’t seem to notice that Even had opened the door.

“Isak?” Even asked, closing the door behind himself. The other blonde whipped his head up, staring at Even with wide, teary red eyes. The only word that Even could use to describe how he looked was _heartbroken._

“ _6, 5, 4…!_ ”

“Fuck, Isak,” Even cursed, not stopping for a moment to ask what was wrong but diving into action. He wrapped strong, loving arms around him, bringing him off the counter and allowing for Isak to rest his head on his chest as the countdown finished.

“ _3, 2, 1…!_ _Godt nytt år!*_ ”

Isak buried his head deep in Even’s chest, letting all the feelings he had been holding for the past several days out. Warm tears were seeping through Even’s shirt, and it burned his heart as the stain continued to spread on his chest.

“Isak…” Even repeated once Isak seemed to calm down a little, carding fingers through his groomed hair. “I don’t know what’s going on, but you know damn well that you can tell me anything that’s bothering you.”

“I know,” Isak mumbled, pulling his blotchy red face away from Even and wiping tears away. Little did he know that there was a string of snot attaching Even’s chest to Isak’s nose. Even laughed, pulling away and grabbing some toilet paper.

“You’re so messy. Let’s clean up, yea?” Even said playfully, putting the toilet paper on Isak’s nose and waiting for him to blow. Isak chuckled a little at the whole scene – he could be pretty messy.

“I hope I didn’t ruin your shirt or anything,” Isak said after he had splashed some water on his face. “I know how much you liked wearing it.”

Even looked at his own clothing and deadpanned to Isak. “If it seriously mattered, do you think I would’ve let you put your head on my chest? It’s just a shirt, Isak. You mean more to me than that.”

A second round of tears started up again as Isak thought back to what Eskild had said earlier. “I don’t deserve you. I was supposed to be spending the night with you and ring in the new year with some drinks and kisses and shit and here I am crying in the fucking bathroom during the countdown.”

“Why didn’t you just tell me you wanted to go home?” Even asked softly, taking one of Isak’s hands in his own and intertwining their fingers as he tried to understand. “Or at least let me know that something was wrong?”

“I didn’t want you to see me cry,” Isak replied lamely.

Isak half expected Even to be disappointed, but he only smiled wider. “Why not? I wouldn’t think you were human if you didn’t cry. There’s no shame in doing it. If something’s bothering you, what else are you going to do anyway? Punch a wall?”

“I don’t think I would be able to do that,” Isak giggled.

“Yea, I don’t think I would be able to either.” Even paused for a second, trying to make eye contact with his boyfriend. “If you don’t feel like talking about it right now, we don’t have to. You can tell me whenever you’re ready. We can stay here at the party or go to my place and spend the rest of the New Year’s Day there…whatever you want to do, we’ll do it.”

“I don’t want to stop you from having fun tonight, but I rather just get out of here.”

“Who said that I was going to stop? You’re so silly, Isak. That’s one of the reasons why I love you.” He leaned in and gave Isak a slow kiss on the lips. “Let’s get out of here then. You ready?”

Isak nodded, looking down at the both of their feet. “I’m sorry. For running away from you instead of coming to you and telling you everything. You really didn’t deserve that.”

Even rolled his eyes playfully, tugging on Isak’s hand in the direction of the door. “Stop it with that ‘deserving’ shit. You know that I love you and you love me. There’s no _deserving_ in this relationship. Just love. I want you to know that, okay?”

Isak smiled, bringing Even in for a hug. “Thank you. For everything you’ve done for me. Seriously.”

Even returned the hug, burying his plump lips in Isak’s hair. “I’m here for you, Isak. No matter what.”

Isak’s new year didn’t start with a bang of fireworks or kissing under the smoky, colorful sky. He didn’t get to drink or party with any of his friends like he should’ve, but was instead in the apartment bathroom, enveloped in Even’s loving hug, despite his circumstances.

And Isak couldn’t have asked for anything more.

**Author's Note:**

> *Godt nytt år = happy new year!
> 
> happy holidays everyone! enjoy a short story i decided to write because it's been in my head for a while c:
> 
> feel free to leave a comment! anything is greatly appreciated!


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